The other day I was trying to think why do my Birthdays mean so much to me. It is not the presents, it is not parties that people throw for me, and it is not the attention you get from it. I finally figured out that it meant that I had made it another year surviving with bipolar disorder. Some people may not understand why living another year is such a big deal but to a person with a mental illness it can be a huge milestone. The statistics are not in our favor. They say about 1 in 5 people with bipolar disorder will kill themselves. I can relate to this so much because I suffer more from severe depression more and I have to fight the suicidal thoughts too often. When I did a fundraiser walk-a-thon for The American Foundation For Suicide Prevention http://www.afsp.org/, I realized just how devastating a suicide can be on the family and friends left behind. They have so much guilt, they feel they should of done more, or that they should of seen more and figured it out. The number one comment I have ever heard is that they all wished they had one more day back with their loved ones to tell them how much they were loved and missed. I always keep these comments close to me when I get to feeling really down and remember how much more pain I would cause if I did end my life.
